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PRO needed in Loughgiel hilarious match report!!!

7 Apr 2017

loughgiel GAC are currently looking for a PRO.

the following is a match report submitted by a couple of our minor players who are applying for the job.
Loughgiel GAC thinks we need to keep looking.

if you think you can do better than the girls please contact any committee member ........

Loughgiel began their defence of their Minor Title with a comprehensive win over Ahoghill today.

The match was supposed to be 13 a side – but Vincent Boyle in his very yellow ref gear though it was 15 and then Ahoghill wanted to play 15 a side so we did. Amy Boyle was on the bench and so was told to write the match report – Meadhbh and Charley were told to keep the bench warm.

In perfect conditions in Loughgiel, playing against a light wind and the pitch a bit soft in places, but with newly cut grass and flags well placed in the sidelines by John McK, but with no scoreboard up, Loughgiel got off to a good start when Anna Connolly gave a beautiful pass to Carla McGarry who scored the opening goal. This was followed by a goal from Finvola 5 minutes in. Roisin then passed to Kirsty who scored a point. There was some good defensive work by Rebecca Hargan, followed by a solo up the field by Aoife who passed to Kirsty, who passed to Carla and point. The next score came from Anna Connolly after a good pass from Finvola.

Charley McCarry was doing a good job as first-aider, always with the wee bag on her shoulder (just like Siobhan taught her) should her services be required and checking if anyone who got a touch or fell over was ok – ‘’are you all right Roisin?’’ she called in one such instance when Roisin had fell down. ‘’Aye was the answer – there was an audible sigh of relief all round

There was a great point from Kirsty McKendry and then a fab solo from Aoife who passed to Roisin but who failed to score due to some good defending from Ahoghill. although the match isn’t being videoed we are getting a good running commentary from ref Vinny (showing that men can indeed multitask)

Megan McGarry was picking up balls from midfield and delivering good balls to the forwards (making her auntie Carmel proud). There was some great defence play from Ciara but a wayward pass was picked up by Catrina Graham who scored a point. Loughgiel got a free and Roisin scored a point. Ciara Laverty passed to Kirsty, then Carla caught a brilliant ball under pressure and a beautiful score resulted. ’I’m doing a very good match report’ said Amy Boyle – ’its so good I’m going to give Seamas McAlleenan lessons to make his as good – oh how we all lol’d!!!

Loughgiel got a 45 and Roisin scored a point, then she scored a point from play - her da was well proud. There was some great defence from Megan, who passed to Carla, to Finvola who scored a point from the 45 line. Megan McGarry did a brilliant block. But then Ahoghill got a free and then they scored a goal


At half-time Amy came on for Katie who took up reporting duties and she said ‘’her report – like her defending would be better than Amy Boyles’’ (her words).

Roisin C was moved to full forward in a swap with Shauna who went to goals. There was nearly a super touch for Carla (but she fluffed it), and then there was a super score from Kirsty (point). Katie didn’t record Finvolas next point and she states that Carlas goal was an Ahoghill OG. There was a class catch from Anna Connolly, before Kirsty got emptied on her dish (pretty lolable!!!!!). Charley and Mev were doing a super warm-up (Charley was still carrying the first aid bag just in case it was needed – that’s commitment!!) Then they went on for Erin K and Catriona Lav and St Johns ambulance were called to come and replace Charley as first aid.

There was a sideline from Finvola (Vincent - the savage Boyle -  congratulates the linesman for saying the ball was out) which resulted in a free out for Ahoghill (quite how is not recorded here – it’s a mystery). From an Ahoghill puckout there was a good catch from KMcK – in the mit and straight over the bar (Mary ‘dolly’ claps very hard!!) There was a goal from Mev McCormick set up by Roisin C. There was some good defence by Amy Boyle – ‘’nearly as good as my own’’ thought Katie panicking – ‘’I’d better watch mesel or she’ll steal my place on the team’’….. There was a good score from Bucket, set up by Caitlin McCloskey. There was a foul on Amy Boyle – ‘’that’ll harden her’’ thought Katie. Then there was a point from Aoife.

Loughgiel made some swaps – or positional changes as they are more commonly known in the mentor lingo. Rebecca & Kirsty, Anna & Megan, Shauna & Finvola, Roisin & Ciara, Carla & Caitlin

There was a goal from Roisin C – her second of the day – Katie writes so slow she missed the first one!!! Goal – Bucket. Kirsty then did in fact take out her own player (it is not recorded who was the poor unfortunate). Ahoghill put Catrina Graham in nets but she cudn’t save a point from Aoife o Mullan. There was a 45 taken by Megan – who we think needs more pith but she says she meant to hit it craply – but it was kept in by Mev and we got a point. Point from Meg – Aileen and Enda go wild. There was a point from Aoife set up by Bucket. Caitlin McC scored off her weak side – then a very good point from Caitlin McC off her other side – ‘that’s both sides she scored from’ said Carl (obvious) - meanwhile Siobhan McC was beeping her horn and shouting well done my wee Caitlin like something naw half wise. There was a point from Mev McCormick – and Carl thinks his 2 girls are very good camogiers. Vincent Boyle (sporting a crazy new hair cut) blew the match up early and Loughgiel had won. Kirsty the captain for the day was told to take the cool down – but she just jogged the team up the sideline and didn’t bother – so she’ll naw be captain again

Katie Lynn had the final score 7-18 to 1-1, when in fact referee Vincent (hen) Boyle said it was 8-21 to 1-1 – but in Katies defence she can’t count and writes slow so missed some scores. This is further evident by the fact that she did in fact record the scorers for 4-12 in the second half (which wudda left the final score for Loughgiel 6-20) …. Her match reporting is not going to win us a championship.

The stats when Amy and Katie remembered to do them were:
Hooks – 1, blocks – 1, wides – 10 (wtf- target practice needed), turnovers -5, catches – 3



next week we’ll maybe try and remember to take a team photo and some action shots – aka how roho wudda do …….


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